30 March, 2012

The Apprentice Corner - Episode Two


I've been ill all week so will be making this week's Apprentice Corner a bit short! In a week that had great quotes such as 'it is a bit difficult to separate recycling', 'people tend to underestimate me... but it's a load of crap' and 'let's be honest it was a mess in there', we saw Sugar's disgust manifest itself into hatred for all women, and we saw a contestant fall asleep. Basically everyone's a moron. Poor show guys, poor show.


The fake-phonecall began the episode, in which contestants were given '15 minutes' to get ready to leave - but noone seemed to rush and then everyone looked pretty good all episode. The project managers became Jane and Azhar, who is 'like the killer-whale of the sea world' for a variety of reasons he explained, but that I couldn't hear because they were ridiculous.

This week's task was to create a household item, for the bathroom, the kitchen, the lounge or basically anywhere. Despite the wide range of options available, BOTH PRODUCTS WERE SHIT. That's not to say that the other ideas were bad - I mean one candidate suggested oven gloves that have sponges on. An indispensable household item I'm sure you can agree - one that wouldn't wear down the skin on your hands and give you no chance to actually clean your washing up, OOOH NO.


The girls went for a 'splashboard', which was torn down by ACTUAL REAL-LIFE MOTHERS but hey-ho they wouldn't let that bother them. Admittedly, the final product would be fun in the bath - I'm considering buying one - but don't advertise it as a splashguard you IDIOTS that's FOOLISH. The boys made a cafetiere for vegetable peelings. Basically, we're dealing with idiots.

Maria fell asleep in the car. There are no more words to say about this - it was brilliant. The other girls then stored this away, ready for ammo in the boardroom. Grand.

Oh and Jane asked Amazon for a million orders. A MILLION. This was literally mental - I have never seen anyone deadpan a ridiculous figure more seriously.


In the end, the girls now can say 'I'll have my regular' in the Bridge Cafe, as they are essentially domiciled in there, and Maria was fired for her failure to not be a total massive bellend. I'm off now because I need to nap to get rid of this life-ending man flu.

Regards, @Jakeshaker

Who should win? Katie because her utter contempt for every other contestant is fantastic.

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